While I have never doubted its existence, your Yiddische Neshamah (Jewish soul) has manifested itself to you in what I would argue is a most appropriate place. One is almost required to "feel" something in places like Mauthausen or the Choral Synagogue. (I am not saying one should not feel something in those places, but it is almost expected that one have a deeply emotional reaction.) I know I am going to take a hit for what I am about to say, but it is what I believe. So, here goes: the places where we are "required" to feel intense emotions often cause the opposite in me. I sometimes feel manipulated into feeling something. My deeply emotional "Jewish" experiences come in unlikely places. For example, the first time I encountered a "Stolperstein" in Berlin I wept in the middle of the sidewalk. It was a moment when my soul encountered something so deep and profound that I had no recourse but to allow my emotions to flow--not that I could have stopped them even if I tried. I think because my coming across the Stolperstein was so unexpected I didn't have time to prepare and my soul "took over."
I think you had a similar reaction at the graveyard. (A graveyard is often referred to as "the House of Life.") At that moment, there were no expectations for a particular emotional response. Your soul took over and said, "Hey, this is what it means to be Jewish. You are standing in a place filled with stories and histories. You, Sarah, are part of this. You stand here today, but one day you will be gone and someone else will come here to visit, to remember."
So, Sarah, you are part of a very long line of Jews, one stretching back for generations and one that will stretch into the future. What will you leave for the next generations?
Since the fall of the USSR and the Soviet bloc states, communal organizations have had to choose between honoring our dead and building for our future. There are countless Jewish cemeteries in Eastern Europe in this sad state.
You've been looking for relatively normal, thriving Jewish communities in places where atrocities happened. This was your gold mine. (Your Indiana Jones moment, maybe?) And the light (balance) to the darkness (dread?) That i commented on before. These people were buried with love. And this place still exists in love.
While I have never doubted its existence, your Yiddische Neshamah (Jewish soul) has manifested itself to you in what I would argue is a most appropriate place. One is almost required to "feel" something in places like Mauthausen or the Choral Synagogue. (I am not saying one should not feel something in those places, but it is almost expected that one have a deeply emotional reaction.) I know I am going to take a hit for what I am about to say, but it is what I believe. So, here goes: the places where we are "required" to feel intense emotions often cause the opposite in me. I sometimes feel manipulated into feeling something. My deeply emotional "Jewish" experiences come in unlikely places. For example, the first time I encountered a "Stolperstein" in Berlin I wept in the middle of the sidewalk. It was a moment when my soul encountered something so deep and profound that I had no recourse but to allow my emotions to flow--not that I could have stopped them even if I tried. I think because my coming across the Stolperstein was so unexpected I didn't have time to prepare and my soul "took over."
I think you had a similar reaction at the graveyard. (A graveyard is often referred to as "the House of Life.") At that moment, there were no expectations for a particular emotional response. Your soul took over and said, "Hey, this is what it means to be Jewish. You are standing in a place filled with stories and histories. You, Sarah, are part of this. You stand here today, but one day you will be gone and someone else will come here to visit, to remember."
So, Sarah, you are part of a very long line of Jews, one stretching back for generations and one that will stretch into the future. What will you leave for the next generations?
Since the fall of the USSR and the Soviet bloc states, communal organizations have had to choose between honoring our dead and building for our future. There are countless Jewish cemeteries in Eastern Europe in this sad state.
You've been looking for relatively normal, thriving Jewish communities in places where atrocities happened. This was your gold mine. (Your Indiana Jones moment, maybe?) And the light (balance) to the darkness (dread?) That i commented on before. These people were buried with love. And this place still exists in love.